Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
