Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
