A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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