I need help removing her.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
