Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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