If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
