I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
