i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
pray to the hookup gods
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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