D3 body, D1 cock
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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