DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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