Me too!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
