I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
