Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
