I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
