her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
