you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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