so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize