I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
