Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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