So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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