we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
