so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize