Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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