That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
