Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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