Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
