The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
