you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
