i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?