we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.