im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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