I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
