Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
