I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
