Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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