girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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