Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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