Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
