Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
