I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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