What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
