just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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