First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
