I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
