awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My cat gives me a boner
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
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It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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