Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
