I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
