Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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