I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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