So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
