Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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