letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
