they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
