I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me