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I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
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