I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone