As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
how does that bad decision feel?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
