im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize