if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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