He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Bring me that man meat
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
