so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
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Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
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My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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