I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
